if go into the coffee shop i work at and order a large single shot decaf non fat no foam latte and then make me knock the powdered sugar off your almond croissant because "it makes a terrible mess" i am going to be concerned for your mental health.

i'm riding a crowded streetcar and this lonely fat girl gets on. i don't know why i'm saying she's lonely. there are plenty of people, i'm sure, who are also alone on this streetcar. i'm alone. maybe it's the hint of moustache that automatically makes me think she is lonely. she's wearing a poppy on the lapel of her brown suede coat. she is the only one wearing a poppy. unsurprising, as it is ten days after remembrance day. maybe it's the only sort of flowery accessory she feels comfortable wearing so she stretches it out as long as she can. she's looking for somewhere to sit down. she looks worried. she wants to sit down but doesn't want to sit down next to someone she is intimidated by. the seat beside me is empty. actually, it's the only empty one i see, and i'm sitting pretty far back. maybe it's the fact that i'm wearing all black or maybe the fact that i've been looking at her the entire time that i've been thinking this, but she doesn't sit down.

i had a dream the other night. i walked into a bar, well, it was a saloon, really. those swinging doors and all. anyway, every seat at every table was full. buffalos were sitting at all the tables. well, they weren't buffalos but, because it was a dream, i knew they were supposed to be buffalos. they were actually pickles. wearing viking hats. pickle-os?

i didn't want to wake you up... but i really want to show you something.

re:sp

As of 3/19/2009 7:25:47 PM EST
You are 24 years old.
You are 294 months old.
You are 1,278 weeks old.
You are 8,947 days old.
You are 214,747 hours old.
You are 12,884,845 minutes old.
You are 773,090,747 seconds old.

The Life Path 5 suggests that you entered this plane with a highly progressive mindset, with the attitude and skills to make the world a better place. The key word for your Life Path is freedom. In the pursuit of freedom, you are naturally versatile, adventurous, and advanced in your thinking. You are one of those people who is always striving to find answers to the many questions that life poses. The byword for the positive Life Path 5 is constant change and improvement. You want to be totally unrestrained, as this is the number most often associated with the productive use of freedom.

You may be one of the most compassionate of people as the 5 is surely the most freedom-loving and compassionate Life Path. Your love of freedom extends to humanity at large, and concern for your fellow man, his freedom and his welfare, may be foremost in your mind. A great Life Path 5 American President, Abraham Lincoln, issued the Emancipation Proclamation, and ended slavery in America. As the ultimate progressive thinker type, your potential in government, the law, and other positions of authority is unlimited.

You are a good communicator, and you know how to motivate people around you. This may be your strongest and most valuable trait. Because of this skill, and your amazing wit, you are a truly natural born salesman. This ability to sell and motivate extends to any sort of physical product all the way through to whatever ideas or concepts you may embrace.

You abhor routine and boring work, and you are not very good at staying with everyday tasks that must be finished on time. On the average, the number 5 personality is rather happy-go-lucky; living for today, and not worrying too much about tomorrow. It is also important for you to find a job that provides thought-provoking tasks rather than routine and redundant responsibilities. You do best dealing with people, but the important thing is that you have the flexibility to express yourself at all times. You have an innate ability to think through complex matters and analyze them quickly, but then be off to something new.

A love of adventure may dominate your life. This may take the form of mental or physical manifestation, but in either case, you thrill to the chance for exploration and blazing new trails. Surely you belong to a group considered the most worldly and traveled. Clearly you are not one to pass up a good venture. You have quite a lot of the risk-taker in your makeup. If you aren't putting your money at stake, you are surely open to a wide variety of risks in your everyday life. Taking the conservative approach is just not in your nature.

In romance, you hate to be tied down and restricted. This doesn't necessarily mean that you are unfaithful or promiscuous, but it does mean that a good partner for you needs to understand your nature. A relationship based on jealousy and having tight reigns is not going to work at all for you. A partner who understands your need to be free and trusted will find you trustworthy, even if you aren't constantly available and totally dutiful. It is important for you to mix with people of a like mind, and to try to avoid those that are too serious and demanding.

If you are living on the negative side of the Life Path 5, you are apt to be multitalented, but suffering from some lack of direction, and there is confusion surrounding your ambition. Restless, discontent, and impulsive, you may bounce from one job to the next without accomplishing much at all. A negative Life Path 5 can become very irresponsible in tasks and decisions concerning the home and business life. The total pursuit of sensation and adventure can result in your becoming self-indulgent and totally unaware of the feelings of those around you.

well... that's a little on point, actually.

so the other night i came home from being out, and i was walking up the stairs to my room i was thinking "gee my fan (i have a fan on, in my room, constantly because it's so effing warm) is really loud... oh it must just be because it's night time and everything is louder in the night." i get up the stairs and turn the corner and...
my door is wide open. as it my previously mentioned (two posts down?) roommates room. ok, weird.
i walk into my room and there is a naked man asleep in my bed. it is my roommate. oh, yeah, he sleepwalks as well. and he sleptwalked (?) NAKED right INTO MY BED. i covered him up with something and proceeded to wake him, telling him that he was in my room, in my bed and he needed to get into his own bed. he looks around for a while, totally bewildered and mutters a "shit... shit, i'm sorry... this... this, is awkward."
"yes. it is," i reply, "and i'm going to go down stairs and give you a minute to get your shit together.
he only half remembers it happening, at all, because he was still half in sleepwalk land when i woke him up.

list of things to do:
- get new health card
- call school about student loans
- get burgundy oxfords re-soled
- BUY NEW DOORKNOB WITH LOCK FOR BEDROOM DOOR.

ok, so isabella rossellini does these short educational films for the sundance channel about the sex life of insects. they are almost my reason for living. seriously, seriously amazing. i had a hard time picking just one to post because they are all as good and as engaging as the next.

isabella rossellini. damn.